Calum Best has already opened up about his difficult childhood with alcoholic footballer father, George Best, in his autobiography which is currently being serialised by The Daily Mail.
Now, the Celebrity Big Brother star has revealed all about his dad’s final days, admitting that despite looking like a scene from a horror movie, George’s hospital room is where he finally felt as though he had bonded with his dad.
Speaking about the last time that he saw George before he was hospitalised, Calum shares: “He’s back drinking after his liver transplant, and I know for certain that nobody’s going to give him a second one.
“I’m shocked at the state he’s in. His skin has gone yellow and his eyes are weird – yellow and bloodshoot. He’s never been this colour before.
Still, as his dad neared the end of his life Calum made the effort to spend time with him, sharing: “Dad spends his days hooked up to a dialysis machine watching TV, while I sit on a chair next to him either on my phone or watching, too.
“We’re not ignoring eachother, it’s just that neither of us knows how to bond with the other, or how to bring some closeness to the situation.
“He’s put me through some terrible times, but I feel sorry for him, truly sorry. Poor guy.
“By the autumn of 2005, Dad is unconscious a lot of the time and on a life-support machine. It’s awful to say it, but he looks like something out of a horror movie — tiny, just skin and bone.
“Dad is looking like nothing I’ve ever seen before. He’s always been such a beautiful guy, but right now his face scares me.
“His cheekbones are sticking out, his eyes are yellow and wide open, and he’s turning his head from left to right really quickly, like he’s panicking about something. He looks terrifying, and terrified.”
The 34-year-old then goes on to make the shocking revelation that George was having harrowing hallucinations as he neared the end of his life, saying: “As I walk into his room, he looks at me. ‘Bestie,’ he says, desperation in his voice, ‘you’ve got to help me. They’re having f***ing parties in here.
“‘I heard them last night, Bestie — over there. They were having drinks, and there were girls, and they were having parties.’
“There’s a nurse with us, and she tells me he’s hallucinating. He can hear all these bleeping noises from the machines, and his messed-up mind turned those sounds into visions of parties going on.
I’m scared for him, because of the state he must be in, but at the same time it makes me smile. Of all the things for him to have visions of, it has to be a party, with lots of girls and booze.
“I wouldn’t have laughed if I’d known these are the last words my father will ever say to me. Because that’s what they are.”
Detailing the heartbreaking final moments that he shared with his father, Calum adds: “From now on, he’s unconscious. I talk to him quietly, holding his hand and whispering things in his ear. I love you, I say. I miss you. I’m sorry.
“Sometimes I get up on Dad’s bed with him, lie down and put his arm round my shoulders. This is the first time I’ve ever had Dad’s arm around me like this.
“Lying here, I get a tiny glimpse of what I’ve missed out on — how good and safe I would have felt if he’d been a different kind of father, and it tears me up.”
Recalling when he was told by medics that they were going to turn off his dad’s life support, Calum shares: “My head drops into my hands, I close my eyes and I let out this huge noise, part scream and part roar of pure emotion. I start sobbing.
“This really is the end. All that hope, all that anger, the sadness, the resentment — all that is over. I am so, so, sad.
“He is 59 years old. I lean into his ear, say ‘I love you’, kiss his forehead and walk out of the room.
“Then one of the nurses says to me: ‘I know this is a tough time, but you’re his next of kin and you have to make the decision about whether or not you want to donate any of his organs.’
“Given his illness, I ask which ones they will be able to use. ‘His eyes,’ is the reply. His eyes? They’re his special thing. Everyone loves his eyes — he’s Belfast’s blue-eyed boy.
“We have a moment when we wonder if it’s right or wrong. Then we decide very firmly that it’s yes. Dad loved to give to people, and they gave so much to him, too – It’s definitely the right thing to do.”
And the effect of his dad’s death soon took its toll, the star reveals: “Losing Dad sent me into a bad place — the lowest moments of my life.
“I was depressed, drinking and taking drugs, and living a wild life to try to cope with what I was going through. To try to mask the pain I felt.
“It was Mum who started my recovery simply by reminding me that she loves me and by being there for me. I’d hit rock bottom, and the only way was up.
“I hate to say this, but in the end he wasn’t a good human being, and he caused terrible pain to the very last people he should have been hurting. But he also caused terrible pain — possibly even the most — to himself, by making the choices he did.”
[ Calum Best: My Dad Tried To Kiss Me When I Was Young ]