When Michelle Visage turned to the other housemates on Friday night and whispered with apoplectic glee that Katie Price was coming down the Celebrity Big Brotherstaircase, you just KNEW she was thinking, ‘WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET THE INSIDER KNOWLEDGE ON HER HUSBAND’S AFFAIR’.
Well, luckily for Michelle, the other housemates, and indeed the rest of the nation, Katie wasted no time in telling everyone EXACTLY what happened during THAT holiday to Cape Verde.
Holding court from pretty much the second she walked into the house, Katie gathered the gang round the table and gave them a blow-by-blow account of what went down – including ‘whacking’ her former pal Jane Poutney after she stumbled across them playing tonsil tennis on the beach:
“I pulled her off the sunbed, f*****g whacking her, I f*****g knew it! I knew it you f*****g s***”, so said The Pricey.
Such an eloquent young soul, isn’t she? Like a young Helen Mirren.
“I said I knew it,” Katie continued. “I’m shaking like a leaf, it was three days into the holiday and we couldn’t get any flights home and they both came in and said we didn’t do anything, I said yes you did you were f***ing kissing I saw you!”
The Artist Formerly Known As Jordan then went onto reveal how she used lie detector tests to prove it all happened:
“The reason I know all this is because he failed three lie detector tests and that was it. It is hard but I’ve dealt with it.”
“What makes it worse, every other weekend she would come to my house her kids, I’d be upstairs,” while she gave her children a bath claiming that Kieran and Jane would be having sex downstairs.”
Like an episode of ‘Enders really, isn’t it?
Here’s hoping The Pricey continues to never, ever hold back about anything else – the producers need their £500k worth, don’t they?
[ CBB 2015: Katie Price Looks NERVOUS As She Finally Enters The House ]
[CBB 2015: Katie Price To Enter House On Friday After Signing Six-Figure Deal?]