They did the obligatory dress yank as they walked up the stairs and shrieked about when they’d met each other on Lorraine and then as with all Celebrity Big Brother launch nights, the housemates were on the receiving end of an unknown twist.
And while last year White Dee from Benefits Street pretended in a sublime Big Brother move to be a Duchess, this year Katie Hopkins was given the juicy task of… well, sitting in a room and doing a watered-down version of what she does every day on Twitter really.
And suddenly, something was evident.
To make insults and ‘quips’ (term used loosely), Katie Hopkins needs either an editor or she needs time.
Perhaps someone writes her tweets for her, or perhaps she just spends an hour on every one until she’s got it just hateful enough, but when asked to be mean to order, she was rubbish.
She went for the most entry-level insults; like a GCSE drama student playing the role of Katie Hopkins but not being paid for it and a bit too shattered from their netball match to summon up any genuine meanness.
Frankly, I’ve seen more imaginative bitching in the work kitchen over spilled porridge in the microwave.
Like most people, in real life (well, social media and the telly) I don’t like Katie because she is a bitch; someone who doesn’t mind being cruel and mean for money and upsets people deliberately on a regular basis.
But on Big Brother? Well those qualities are written somewhere in a Channel 5 document entitled ‘What we want from a dream Big Brother housemate who’s going to make everyone watch our show.’
We need entertaining and bless Cheggers, but I just don’t see him being the man for a white wine-fuelled jacuzzi rant.
So Katie’s meanness, in this one instance, wasn’t a problem for me.
What was a problem though was just how boring she was. She sat there in her sequins (FYI Katie, Christmas party season wants its frock back… Don’t give it if you can’t take it) spouting cliches about glamour girls and plastic surgery.
She didn’t make me laugh.
She didn’t make me wince.
She didn’t even make me shout at my TV, which I’d been so psyched up for that I’d booked a yoga class for tomorrow to balance things out and make sure I didn’t have a heart attack.
In fact, on the opening night of Big Brother, the much-hyped ‘controversial’ housemate didn’t make me do anything.
And for Katie Hopkins, who’s made a name out of renting out her vitriol?
That’s a far, far bigger problem than being called Britain’s Biggest Bitch.
[CBB: Katie Hopkins tasked with being nice until further notice]
[CBB’s Sam Faiers: ‘Katie Hopkins Will Spice Up The House’ – EXCLUSIVE]