Ahh, Eurovision. Probably the most fabulous excuse we have to dress up as a stereotypical european and drink the entire contents of our drinks cabinet.
This year, the show comes from exotic Vienna, Austria, after Queen Conchita Wurst wowed the continent with her rendition of ‘Rise Like A Phoenix’.
And whilst the UK didn’t exactly fare fabulously last year (we came 17th…) – we’re right behind this year’s entry ‘Electro Velvet’ – AKA Alex Larke and Bianca Nicholas – who’ll be performing their entry ‘Still In Love With You’.
Oh, and did you know that Bianca was on ‘The Voice’ last year? She didn’t get through though, which is slightly awks for all (The BBC) concerned.
Anyway, we’re sure they’ll do fine, and after all, anything is better than the ill-fated Gemini, right? (WHO CAN FORGET THE HORROR?!)
Conchita will be back – not to perform, but to present – along with the cream of Austria’s televisual talents, which we, er… don’t really know who they are.
But anyway, they’re big in Austria so that’s all that matters.
Graham Norton will once again be our guide for the evening (YAY) and this year he’ll be joined by fabuous Conchita Wurst impersonator (sans beard) Nigella Lawson – who’ll be doing that whole ‘Good Evening Vienna, This Is London Calling’ bit where we decide to give the most votes to the most ridiculous act.
Who says we don’t take this competition seriously anymore?
With Britain already guaranteed a seat in the final because we pay the most money (or something like that), our Antipodean cousins from Down Under – Australia – will also be joining us in the final.
“BUT AUSTRALIA AIN’T IN EUROPE!?” we hear you cry. Well yes, this is true, but it’s the 60th Anniversary of the competition this year, and to celebrate this, the organisers thought it would be quite nice to invite the Aussies, who for some reason are really into the whole thing.
So get off the phone to Nigel Farage and chill your beans, people.
There are now 27 nations taking part tonight – after a whole load of them (including our bessies over in the Republic of Ireland) got the chop in the semi-finals earlier this week.
And the UK are 5th in line to perform.
Yep, it’s set to be a long night of sequins, stilted English and ‘interesting’ music choices until we get the final result.
The Eurovision Song Contest 2015 kicks off on BBC One tonight at 8pm, and remember, we’ll be LIVE on Periscope and Twitter from Vienna – getting ALL the latest from inside the arena.
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