If we’re honest, we kinda thought that now Gemma Collins had settled into I’m A Celebrity, her jungle hell might just be over.
Yeah, we were more wrong than brussel sprouts, as last night things seemed to get EVEN TOUGHER for the TOWIE star when she thought she’d contracted malaria.
Did she mention she was a drama queen?
Before we continue with this one, we should probably warn you to put that porridge down. Like, now.
During last night’s jungle update, the 33-year-old seemed to be continuing to absolutely ADORE her time in the Celebrity Slammer, eating porridge and making friends with the ants.
IN OPPOSITE world.
In reality, Gem was actually working herself up into another panic after an, erm, interesting looking toilet trip scared her into believing she had malaria. Y’know, that big killer disease hasn’t been in Australia for over 30 years.
She told fellow campmate Vicki Michelle: “I feel like I’ve got malaria. My poo is bright fluorescent yellow. I’ve had the worst diarrhoea ever.
“I’m dying to go but if I sit in that toilet I can’t bear the smell of it…but I can’t hold it.”
Excuse us whilst we just have a tactical chunder.
Sensible Vicki tried to calm Gem down by suggesting her body was just ‘detoxing,’ but predictably she was having none of it.
Probably just wouldn’t inspect your, er, business in the future babes.
Things got worst for the Essex-bred jungle-phobe, as Jimmy Bullard chose to rescue Vicki over her. UH-OH SPAGHETTI O-S.
Gem immediately went on some sort of anger trip, saying: “I’m f****** p***** off. I want to go. I’m not going to be able to do it.”
Calm down dear, it’s only a jungle. Sort of.
Nadia tried to calm her by telling her it’s just a few more days, to which Gemma cried: “It’s not though. It’s f****** three weeks. I’m just not enjoying it one bit.
“I just don’t want to do it. It’s too hard. If that makes me a quitter, then that’s who I am.
“People that murder get treated better than this, and that’s the truth. Even a murderer gets fed three times a day.”
Does porridge three times a day not count as feeding? Interesting.
However, Craig seemed to inadvertently manage to get her to chillax by reminding her that people in other parts of the world eat less than them in their daily lives.
Gem then had a change of heart, saying: “I pledge tonight, and you’re right, if I lose weight I’ll be happier, that I’m never ever going to mention starving again. Did you hear that..? I pledge to never mention being starving again.”
We’ll wait and see how long that one lasts.
Just warn us next time you talk in detail about your poo please babes.
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