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Joan Rivers’ Requests Beyonce’s Hair, Meryl Streep Crying, And Paparazzi At Her Funeral

The legend still has us laughing, even in death.

The news of Joan Rivers’ death still hasn’t really sunk in and it really was upsetting to hear that the razor-tongued, brutally-honest, and hilarious comedienne had passed away following complications from minor surgery at 81-years-old.

Joan’s daughter, Melissa, released a statement to announce her mother’s death, ending on the note: “My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh.

“Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon.”

And in true Joan Rivers style, she had us laughing in less than 24 hours as we realised that she had already layed out some very specific funeral plans in her 2012 book, I Hate Everyone… Starting With Me – and they are just as brilliant as you would imagine.

Joan revealed that she wants her funeral to be a “huge showbiz affair”, with paparazzi, a wind machine, a Valentino gown and, erm, Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.

The full extract of her very well thought out and typically ‘Joan Rivers’ wishes reads as follows:

I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents.

“I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive.

“I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyonce’s.” 

Well, we certainly can’t deny how fabulous that all sounds, but we somehow doubt that her daughter will be making such outlandish arrangements for the actual funeral, which is set to take place on Sunday.

One thing that these requests have reinforced is just how much we are going to miss Joan Rivers.

Rest in peace, Joan, you really were one in a million.

 

[ Joan Rivers Obituary ] 

[ Stars Remember Joan ]

 

 

Jolene Creighton

One Comment

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