Blimey, just as we were getting used to seeing our Made In Chelsea chums swan around State-side, we’re reminded that it’s EPISODE FLIPPIN’ 5 and we’re nearly at the end of this MAGNIFICENT journey.
BUT what the hell actually happened in the seismic event that was the PENULTIMATE episode? Well scroll down dear reader, and you’ll soon find out.
1) RETURN OF THE PRATT
Yes, that’s right – Stephanie Pratt was back, but alas neither White Dee, George Gilbey or Gary Busey followed her.
Stephanie had returned to the old U-S-of-A to apparently win back her ex, Stevie – however, the problem for old Pratty was that no-one had told her that Stevie was currently shacked up with boring Billie, after becoming some sort of sex-machine since he landed State-side.
It was left to none other than the notoriously tactful Lucy Watson to deliver the news to a heartbroken Steph, who made MIC history by actually having to SHOW EMOTION and cry on-demand.
Give that girl an Oscar, we say.
Anyway, just after Stephanie had been delivered this earth-shattering news, WHO walks in but Stevie himself (GOD THOSE PRODUCERS JUST LOVE A COINCIDENTAL MEETING, DON’T THEY) who then spent the rest of the episode (rightly) questioning what the hell he was doing with Billie in the first place.
Thankfully for The Pratt, all is not lost – both her and Stevie met up for a drink at the very end of the show, and after telling him that she was “gonna drink and cry” around him (GREAT chat, Stephanie – what every guy wants to hear, we’re sure), the pair had a cheeky little hug – LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN FOR ROMANCE.
Will we see the return of #Stephanvie? Or will that conniving Billie put a spanner in the works? WE JUST DON’T KNOW.
2) Guess what? Jules can actually get MORE disturbing.
Not content with giving us one creepy ‘Children of the Corn’ reject, the producers thought it would be an excellent idea to give Jules a pal so we could get even more eerie New York-based nightmares.
Yes, Jules’ girlfriend was back again, and not only was she also very much into the whole ‘LET’S SLEEP WITH EVERYONE’ thing, she also happened to look A LOT like Jules.
Like, too much like him.
As in, we wouldn’t be surprised if they were related.
Honestly – same glazed over expression, eyes that never blink, eerily pale skin and PROPER creepy demeanour. Eurgh.
3) The Hamptons – not as exciting as they’d have you think.
Being raised on a diet of ‘Sex And The City’ and ‘Gossip Girl’, we always expected a trip out to ‘The Hamptons’ to be a hoot – chilling by the sea, fabulous parties at the beach-house and TONNES of fit men.
However, when the MIC bunch decided that it’d be a ‘swell’ idea to head up the coast for a weekend jaunt, it all seemed a little bit…boring?
Honestly, it was like watching four ‘a-bit-too-exciteable’ teenagers go and accompany their parents on a trip to Padstow and get a bit ‘jolly’ on a small bottle of Hooch. The most interesting thing that happened was that Jamie got ‘hands-y’ with Binky when they went to bed.
Hands-y? HANDSY-?! IS THAT IT? Where are we, Bible camp?!
4)The ‘Billie’ story continues to drag on – despite the fact that she’s essentially a mute.
Oh god, can someone just wake us up and tell us when Billie’s finally made up her mind?
After finding out that Stevie’s beloved ex-girlfriend Stephanie Pratt was back on U.S soil, Billie started to get PROPER aggy about the whole situation – well, we think she was aggy, we can’t ever really tell as she never really moves her face or shows any degree of emotion.
Obviously, Spencer saw the whole situation as his ‘IN’ with poor Billie, whom both Spencer and Stevie continue to treat as some sort of prize-bull that they’re desperately trying to win (how very gentlemanly, guys). Alas, despite using his very BEST sleazy lines on the girl, Billie didn’t quite fall into the perilous Spencer Matthews woman-trap. LUCKY ESCAPE BILLS.
Riley spent another week keeping us on the edge of our seats with more dramatic pronunciations on current affairs. Highlights included:
“Let’s go the cinema.”
“Let’s go to the Hamptons.”
THANK GOD THE PRODUCERS KEPT HER IN THE SHOW, Eh?
Be sure to tune in next week for more thrilling sexcapades from this bunch of jolly good sports.
[ Made In Chelsea NYC, Episode 4: Stevie 'Wins' Billie & Louise Gets The Horn ]
[ Made In Chelsea NYC, Episode 3: Gabriella's BACK, Polygamy is IN & Spencer's In A Three-Way ]