Clearly the Anaconda just wanted the buns, hun.
Nicki Minaj has been left traumatised after one of her backing dancers was attacked by an actual real-life snake, whilst rehearsing for the performance of her new track ‘Anaconda’ at the MTV VMAs tomorrow.
In a cruel twist of fate (or possibly just the animal kingdom’s way of telling her Minajesty to STOP WITH THE BUM ‘THING’), the 6-foot long boa constrictor lunged for one of the dancers after getting ‘startled’.
Not being funny and all that, but we’re sort of with the snake on this one – we were pretty startled just watching the video, let alone having to endure a performance of the track and witness all that bum-jiggling in real life.
Sources close to the animal believe that the snake was already aggravated because of Nicki’s appropriation of the ‘Anaconda’ name in her song.
… OK, maybe not – that’s just our theory, but we’re sticking to it nonetheless.
THE ANACONDA IS A MIGHTY AND NOBLE CREATURE AND HER MINAJESTY IS BELITTLING IT’S PROWESS WITH THIS SEXUALIASED CAR-CRASH OF A SONG.
The dancer (who’s not believed to have known their aggressor prior to the attack), is currently being treated at a local hospital in LA.
The whereabouts of the now-infamous boa are currently unknown, and we STILL don’t know whether he or she will be planning another ‘revenge attack’.
MTV’s Video Music Awards will be broadcast live tomorrow night, so Nicki might be better off swapping the volatile serpent for one of the stuffed ones you used to get in IKEA – or failing that, a draught excluder.
[Nicki Minaj denies throwing shade at Iggy Azalea during acceptance speech]
[Nicki Minaj hits back at Anaconda artwork criticism]