She compares it to drug addiction.
Nicole Scherzinger has opened up about her past battle with bulimia saying that the illness consumed her life and was like an addiction.
The 36-year-old spoke to Cosmopolitan about her eating disorder past saying that it was at its worst when she was trying to make it as a dancer in the early days of the Pussycat Dolls.
“Thinking about it I try not to well up, it is such a horrible paralysing disease and it was such a dark time for me,” she told the magazine.
The former X Factor judge’s disorder flared up in her twenties during the time she was the front woman of the successful Dolls dance troupe.
She adds that the disease ended up ‘robbing her of her life’:
“That’s why I can empathise so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren’t nice to themselves. It robs you of living your life,” she says
Nicole also recalled times time that she became so weak as a result of the disease that she was found passed out on the floor.
She says: “I had started losing my voice, I couldn’t sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France.”
“I was so ashamed. I knew it wasn’t normal or Healthy because I was hurting myself through this cycle of disordered eating. It was my drug, my addiction. It’s an endless vicious cycle.”
However, despite the sadness in her past, Nicole insists that she will never let her battle affect her future, saying: “I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world but I was miserable on the inside.”
“I’m never letting that happen again; you only get one life – I was 27 only once.”
Read her full interview in the August issue of Cosmopolitan, on sale 3 July.
[Nicole Scherzinger copies Miley Cyrus as she leaves very little to the imagination in swimsuit]
[Nicole Scherzinger is leaving X Factor]