If you work in or are anywhere near a B&Q somewhere around Valentine’s Day, you *might* want to watch out for a certain Simon Cowell and his girlfriend Lauren Silverman, who *might* be stocking up on certain 50 Shades of Grey-themed props.
Yep, the Britain’s Got Talent judge has been talking all things, er, erotic, and it’s all a little bit TMI for us.
Even if he was joking.
Note to self: Don’t visit hardware stores for a couple of weeks, because B&Q have seriously warned staff to watch out for an increase in demand for things like cable ties and rope.
Speaking at BGT’s London auditions yesterday, the 55-year-old admitted he hates Valentine’s Day, although not the part about it also being son Eric’s first birthday, obviously. Happy Birthday, Eric!
Asked if he would be going to watch the film on everyone’s lips (heh) when it’s released this weekend, he joked: “I’m going to have to aren’t I? And then a trip down to B&Q afterwards.”
We know he was just joking, but the image is still TMI for a Thursday morning. It would be if anyone said it, to be honest.
We did do a little laugh though, so we guess that counts for something!
Moving swiftly on, and Simon also admitted that he will actually spend the day itself away from his girlfriend, who’ll be in New York on Saturday.
(Saturday = Valentine’s Day. Just in case any of you had forgotten. You’re welcome).
He admitted: “I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s this day of the year you’re supposed to be romantic. It’s so boring.
“(Lauren’s) actually going to be in New York, so we are going to celebrate on the Friday.
“I don’t know (what I’m going to do) yet, but as I said, I’ve never loved it. It’s not like Christmas Day.
It sounds like he has *some* idea of what he might treat his lady to though, adding: “I’ll take her to dinner, I’ll be charming … whatever comes next.”
Yeah, we don’t need to know what comes next, but we do hope you two have a lovely evening.
It’s been an eventful round of auditions for Simon, having actually passed out at one point after being hypnotised by a dog.
Yes. A dog. An actual dog. Okay good.
During auditions at Manchester’s Lowry Theatre, one hopefully auditonee brought her dog Princess the German Spitz on stage, claiming that the dog can hypnotise people with just one glance.
Despite the audience’s cynicism, self-confessed animal-lover Simon was quick to get on stage to test the claims, giving the dog a good stare in the eyes before returning to his seat and saying he felt unwell.
Shortly afterwards, Si fell slumped on the judges desk.
Well, at least he’s all okay now, eh?
And all in time for his, er, kinky Valentine’s plans. Have a good one, Si and Lauren!
[Britain's Got Talent 2015: Simon Cowell Collapses After Being Hypnotised By A Dog]
[Britain's Got Talent 2015: Susan Boyle Finds Romance With New Man]