Those Chelsea boys don’t do things by half.
No doubt Spencer Matthews is celebrating his birthday today in lavish ‘Made In Chelsea’ style rather than with a Colin The Caterpillar cake and a few beers.
After all, this boy’s got previous…
1. Spencer’s giant ball pit
“Just found this beauty.. @CirqueLeSoir” Spencer tweeted in April. Reclining in an adult-size ball pit with a couple of friendly females hidden under his balls. Because that’s how posh boys roll.
Given that the exclusive club Spenny was in has all manner of weird and wonderful things, from snake charmers and fire-eaters to contortionists and sword-swallowers, we’ll have to assume this was the most PG pic the MIC star could share.
Goodness only knows what was going on under that pile of balls.
2. Spencer’s cheap night out
“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit….” Spencer tweeted in November.
If we spent more than £50 in a bar we’d start hyperventilating.
For lavish lads like Spenny, however, the cold sweats only set in when the bar bill approaches a cool £500,000. (£488,706.08 to be precise. Don’t forget that 8p.) Sure, we can all relate to dropping half a mill on a night out, right? RIGHT?
Celebs: just like us. Except when they CLEARLY AREN’T.
So it turned out the receipt was just a mistake when the barmaid tried to type £48. Even Spencer couldn’t rack up that size bill, even in an expensive joint like Morton’s.
3. Spencer’s low-key fancy dress outfit
“God I’m a chief…” Spencer tweeted in March.
Most of us normals make do with a kohl eyeliner and a couple of whiskers hastily drawn on in the pub loo when we’re on a fancy dress night out.
If you’re Spencer Matthews and you’re gonna wear a headdress, you’re gonna damn well wear the BIGGEST and most colourful one you can get your hands on.
And accessorise it with sunglasses. Obviously.
4. Spencer’s subtle timepiece
“Picked up this beauty in town today.. Loving it. Full Titanium Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore.. #St.Barths” Spencer tweeted in January.
Sure, when you’re a wealthy Chelsea guy you’re gonna have expensive jewellery.
But spending the average annual salary on a watch? SERIOUSLY? These babies cost in the region of £20K. No lie. Heck, even Spenny’s arm hairs are ridiculously lavish.
5. Spencer’s big bird
“I love a big tasty bird… ;)” Spencer tweeted on Christmas Day. Don’t we all, Spenny.
When poshos do Christmas lunch, boy do they do it in style.
And probably courtesy of some rather nice staff.