We’re ten weeks into The Apprentice 2014 and reached the stage that all candidates aim for, The Final Five.
I don’t know what it is about The Final Five, but reaching the semi-final really has an allure when you’re in the process.
You feel a great sense of pride because YOU were the one who beat thousands of applicants. You’ve competed in (what’s treated like) one of the world’s most intense competitions and have come through it all with a shot at winning significant investment from LORD ALAN SUGAR.
Not to mention the ego trip from 12 year olds sending messages via LinkedIn that you’re their business icon… (sad, but true).
However, I’m sorry to tell The Final Five that – actually – you’re not that great. In fact, I’d go as far to say you’re the most talentless final five in the history of The Apprentice, which really says something if you watched the show in 2012.
Why? Well let’s look at the line-up.
Firstly, there’s Daniel Lassman, a poor man’s Stuart Baggs, who has only remained in the competition because he’s ‘TV gold’ (or at least Lord Sugar seems to think so).
Daniel is joined by Bianca, whose contributions I can’t quite recall, Mark, who couldn’t handle the pressures of pitching to TESCO, and Solomon, who gives the impression that he’s more interested in getting laid than winning an investment.
The one saving grace, in my view, has been Roisin. While she doesn’t strike me as a future Michelle Mone, she seems relatively competent and has certainly impressed viewers.
So you can imagine how saddened I was to hear that her business plan was about READY MEALS. What on earth does Roisin know about ready meals? Does she really think people would take Roisin’s Ready Meals seriously? Give me a break.
What’s even more maddening is that Roisin’s Ready Meals is going to win. The editing in the episodes building up to the final are very telling, and I will eat my words if Roisin doesn’t win and if she isn’t joined in the final by either Mark or Bianca.
It’s devastating to think that this is what The Apprentice has come to.
In my view, the only reason worth tuning in for is Karren Brady, whose class and boardroom put-downs last night were sensational. The BBC are lucky to have her on board and, hopefully, will step-in to get some real business talent on next year’s show.