We’ve seen some eye-watering beach-based images in our time.
But nothing can really EVER compare to TOWIE‘s Bobby Norris’ newest beachwear invention that’s got us wanting to poke our own eyes out with a big stick. Forget that weird side-thong, schlong thing – behold THE BOBBY BALL BAG.
Aaaaand we’re never seeing again.
Apparently set to be ‘the latest craze’ in swimwear (NO, NO and NO THANK YOU), 27-year-old Bobby modelled possibly the worst thing we’ve ever seen on a man’s body whilst sunning himself in Ibiza and showing off his whiter and white teeth.
Apologies if you’re eating just about anything right now.
AND IT GETS WORSE.
As if wearing one of these wouldn’t make you look like enough of a t***, it also comes customized with bling which reflects the light and increases your tan sans tan lines.
Basically like wrapping a bunch of tin foil round your nether regions. Don’t be silly, wrap your w***y and all that.
Just don’t confuse it with that chicken sarnie you packed in foil for your lunch.
Two big questions here: 1) Why does the world want to see Bobby/anyone’s hairy bits?! and 2) HOW DOES IT EVEN STAY ON?!
Still Bobby seems pretty thrilled about the world’s reaction, telling The Daily Star: “Can’t get over that. The fact that it’s on paris Hilton’s Twitter and MazSight…
“Can we just appreciate the severity of that? I don’t think she’s the biggest fan of it, but still, the fact that she’s even referenced it is amazing.”
Meanwhile, we’re battling to keep our lunch down. MOVING ON.
Elsewhere in TOWIE, where normal people know how to dress normally for a normal day at a normal beach, Sam Faiers and Joey Essex have confirmed that they’re back together and are totes in love, babes.
Talking exclusively to Yahoo at the launch of new package delivery retailer, Doddle, Sam confirmed that #Jam are back on and stronger than ever:
“Regardless of our argument in Spain and what’s gone on, with us two we love each other and it’s onwards and upwards.
“We were 19 when we first got together so that’s a long time.
“We are very much still in love and we plan our future together, we just have a bit of a rocky road sometimes, just like a lot of young people for us.
“Unfortunately for us it gets dramatized and bits get added in – me and Joey just sit together and read it and laugh about it sometimes. “
Maybe #Jam can work together to stop the Bobby Ball Bag becoming an actual thing, because our ears and stomachs literally cannot deal.
[Sam Faiers Confirms She’s Back Together With Joey Essex: ‘We’re Very Much Still In Love’ – EXCLUSIVE]
[Mario Falcone TOWIE Return: ‘I’ve Grown Up Since Cocaine Drug Video Scandal’]